


out of order

by yosoyritmo



Series: original poetry [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Poetry, three guesses for what this is about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 09:33:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17784929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yosoyritmo/pseuds/yosoyritmo





	out of order

**out of order**

end or beginning,  
it doesn't matter which.  
you just have to do the rotation,  
keep things moving  
with your broken parts.

but when the gears don't fit in the clock  
and each tick is out of time,  
each number out of place,  
maybe it's better to smash the face  
and save the batteries for something else.

you're not a clock,  
and nobody will do the ticking for you.  
you won't get your perfect rebuild  
so you stop trying to keep time  
and do the repairs yourself.

bind your insides together,  
crush the body to make it fit,  
wind it all back until the clicking stops  
and the mirror shouts back at you  
purple, blue.

but metal bends where flesh does not.  
broken time spills future yous  
through trauma-tough valleys  
and your high definition remaster  
stands up, turns around and leaves you

to sit and stare at yourself as you  
take the pain in both hands and squeeze.  
bleed it onto the pavement,  
a concrete easel to hold the image  
of every untruth you tried to be.

no sensation in your chest  
as the dead self drips out,  
no knife bearing down  
to sever your nerves,  
no catharsis if you chase it.

serves you right for your faulty design.  
a clock face with no numbers, no hands,  
no time to find the you that fits  
flesh and feeling  
mistaken for machinery.


End file.
